Kin drag bags

Got on the bus yesterday to come home and I was 1st in line so I got on and sat at the front , some old lady then got on with one of these shopping trolleys , loaded . Now in my eyes if you are gonna load one of these things to the rafters then you are gonna have to deal with it , boy did she stuggle . Anyway she sits in the front as well . opposite ( on the busses over here its like a coach ) taking up the whole of the isle with this humungus drag-bag so everyone that got on had to squeeze past . Now there is a place in the middle of the bus with plenty of room for peeps with travel bags , prams etc , but no she had to sit at the front taking up all the room . After every Tom , Dick & Harry had managed to get on with great dificulty , we took off . At the next stop there is a queue of OAP who had just got off a boat each with their own drag-bag filled with duty free booze ( JK will now about these Booze Cruises ), well what a kin palaver AND lady No1 knew every fucker that got on . " Ooo how are we gonna manage this , how are you gonna get your bag ( which is taking up the whole isle ) past mine " FFS move you stupid finguck women . AND the bus driver just sat there like a wanker saying nothing . O how I wished Blakey was driving , not only is it stupid but its a hazard if the bus all of a sudden has to be evacuated . Gonna call the bus company when I get a min and give them a right English bollicking ( in swedish of course ) .

Rant over

I had an OAP booze cruise moment a few years back. I had a different job back then & was going over to Stockholm to meet some people who were coming to Åland. We were to meet at a reception for them in Stockholm. So I was a bit pressed for time.

I went up to Grisslehamn in Sweden (further north) because of the timings & the ferry was full of OAP boozers - I was possibly the youngest person on it. When we got to the port I dashed off as I thought they'd be 2 busses - usually the first fills up & goes quickly while the second waits for the stragglers. When I got to the customs the police were there - normally there is no-one. As I was on a work mission I had no duty free at all & they let me through. Then all the oldens turned up. One by one they were searched & one by one they were found to be well over the duty free limit. The police started confiscating which of course starts the arguments.

One & a half hours later the bus goes. I'm getting stressed as I'd never met these people before & didn't have any contacts for them. Had to sit all the way to Stockholm with annoyed & semi pissed oldens going on about how unfair it all was. God was I stressed when I got there! So I share your pain G!

Do you find Scandy oldens a pain in the shop too? Perhaps it's just Ålanders but if you get stuck behind one they'll start up a conversation with the cashier who of course they know - everyone knows everyone here. There is absolutely no effort to serve those behind as the cashier joins in discussing her uncle's tractor out in Sund or somewhere - drives me mental.

I know what you mean JK and I know we will all get to that age at some point but Im sure half of these OAP,s come out for the day just to stand i queues to have à chin wag and cause havoc with their drag bags

Shopping trolleys are not permitted in the saloon area, (seats), of the bus. End of.

They pose a safety risk to the other passengers. The aisles must be kept clear at all times. Besides which if someone takes one up to the back seats and then clouts someone with it as they get off, we have no liability and have to pursue the owner of the trolly.

I've had many an argument with people about this. I've even seen people take them upstairs, ffs. One passenger got so irate that I threw them off, and, got full backing from management, (came as a bit of a shock that).

Another thing that really irritates me is:-

If you need a walking stick and / or have difficulty with stairs, why do you sit upstairs on a bus?? Should there be a need to evacuate the bus because of, say, fire, your gonna get trampled under foot!

Also, it says 1 wheelchair, not 2 or 1 'chair and a buggy. It's either 1 wheelchair or 2 buggies, not a combination there of.

Conversation from yesterday:-
Me: I'm sorry madam but I can only take you if you collapse the buggy down.
Punter: But she's, (points to baby), has just gone to sleep!!
Me: I'm sorry madam but I have a wheelchair on, so you'll either have to collapse it or wait for the next bus, (20 mins).
Punter: FFS, this just isn't good enough, I'll be having words with your boss about this.
Me: Crack on love, see ya.

Could do with more drivers like you over Blakey , the problem with Swedes is they dont like to get into heated discusions which means I fit in well

Johnny K wrote:I had an OAP booze cruise moment a few years back. I had a different job back then & was going over to Stockholm to meet some people who were coming to Åland. We were to meet at a reception for them in Stockholm. So I was a bit pressed for time.

I went up to Grisslehamn in Sweden (further north) because of the timings & the ferry was full of OAP boozers - I was possibly the youngest person on it. When we got to the port I dashed off as I thought they'd be 2 busses - usually the first fills up & goes quickly while the second waits for the stragglers. When I got to the customs the police were there - normally there is no-one. As I was on a work mission I had no duty free at all & they let me through. Then all the oldens turned up. One by one they were searched & one by one they were found to be well over the duty free limit. The police started confiscating which of course starts the arguments.

One & a half hours later the bus goes. I'm getting stressed as I'd never met these people before & didn't have any contacts for them. Had to sit all the way to Stockholm with annoyed & semi pissed oldens going on about how unfair it all was. God was I stressed when I got there! So I share your pain G!

Do you find Scandy oldens a pain in the shop too? Perhaps it's just Ålanders but if you get stuck behind one they'll start up a conversation with the cashier who of course they know - everyone knows everyone here. There is absolutely no effort to serve those behind as the cashier joins in discussing her uncle's tractor out in Sund or somewhere - drives me mental.

I think you will find JK that that is people from North Norfolk and the tractor is from Binham and a bit like your Alanders they are all related!

It seems MH, that the world over you are never that far away from a disfigured boy sitting on a fence playing a banjo.

Oh so true JK, do yours all have six fingers to!

hmmm seen him in Kings Lynn on market day, knuckle dragging his way around town

Dear old people of South East London
If you are in a bus queue at a bus stop the assumption is that you are waiting for a bus and you know that at some point in the next 5 to 20 minutes a bus is going to come along. Why then do you act like it’s a finguck surprise when the bus arrives and then start looking for your pass. My pass is ready and I aint waiting for you to piss ball about looking for your pass, I’m getting on the bus and I’m going home.

Dear new mums of South East London
If you cant get that buggy on and off a bus without breaking people ankles and causing half the bus to get up and move then you should finguck walk. Oh and during rush-hour when the buses are very busy the world will not end because you have been asked to collapse your buggy, it isn’t sexist or racist, its common sense. It is of no concern to the bus driver or commuters that little Dashawne has just started his chicken-in-a-box.

While we are on the subject of buses
Where I live out in the sticks , most of the houses used to be summer houses for the peeps in Stockholm but a lot have sold or moved out permanently , there are still a lot that still have them for summer time like our neighbors ( who have just moved out for the warm weather ) . Anyway Easter is the time we permanent peeps dread , the Badjävlar ( translates to " Summer Fuckers " ) move out and with them they take on the bus everything apart from the kitchen finguck sink , they queue from 5 in the morning to get out here early , they have a drag bag loaded with absolutely everything not only in but on top of the things plus a backpack and cuttings they have taken from their favorite roses in their town house . This bollix goes on all day before a holiday and every finguck friday through out the summer , now this really gets me hot under the collar when I have been working all day and just want to get home and chill . Today at the bus stop I just missed a bus so I was 1st in line so I put my bag of beers down to mark my place in the queue , along comes a badjävlar and puts her loaded dragbag in front of mine , cheeky fucker I thought so I moved mine in front of hers , then when its time to board the bus she goes " Ooh I really could do with some help " so I told her to call Manpower , boarded the bus sat back and watched the badjävlar fighting to get on the bus with their over loaded bags , trolleys , cats/dogs in baskets and screaming kids . Oh the joys of summer

Badjävlar (translates to " Summer Fuckers " )

I am going to use this wonderful word for those people who think its ok to wear very little because the sun has come out / who don’t think washing more often is necessary because its warmer out.

Or maybe " Summer time Fuckers " nothing to do with " Dogging " Suz

Today our 'badjävlars' arrived from the Swedish & Finnish mainlands to go to their summer houses. (These were the same Finns that voted so resoundingly to kick the Swedish speakers out last sunday!) My trip to our supermarket was marred by queues of them with shopping trolleys piled with food. Honestly, you'd think the shops were closing for ever & not re-opening again on saturday morning. These people must be real greedy fuckers or organising aid convoys to African countries (the latter unlikely given the resounding vote last sunday). I'd suggest a separate queue for Ålanders if I didn't know for sure it'd be full of locals queueing up to discuss their uncle's tractor or disfigured boys trying to buy themselves banjos.

On a good note my passport arrived today. It's been 3 weeks since they took the payment from my visa & I was beginning to fret so I called the local DHL office yesterday as it was they who, according to the Passport website, would be delivering my passport. Firstly they said they would never take responsibility for delivering passports, then they said they'd had no record of it arriving, then when I asked their delivery procedure they said they would deliver it to no-one else but me & would require my signature. If I wasn't in they would leave a note & I would have to collect it from their depot. Today when I got home from work I opened my postbox to find the passport was sitting in there in a big envelope covered with printing stating it was from the British Embassy Passport Service. Geezer will support me when I state that most Scandy postboxes are just like open lid bins out in the street. I can see a scenario where the delivery fellah thought 'Bollix he's out. I can't be arsed to go back to the depot on the day before Easter...'.

95% of me is very pleased to have received my passport while the other 5% is irritated at getting bullshitted so fully. Anyway - at least I'm British again. Rule Britannia!.....

Talking about Passports JK , I got mine about 3 weeks ago from DHL , they did,nt put it in the open lid bin of a post box out in the street , the plonkers just left it on the mat outside my front door , now how smart is that , 160 squids + 20 p&p for it and they just leave it on the door mat

Suzanne Claret wrote:Dear old people of South East London
If you are in a bus queue at a bus stop the assumption is that you are waiting for a bus and you know that at some point in the next 5 to 20 minutes a bus is going to come along. Why then do you act like it’s a finguck surprise when the bus arrives and then start looking for your pass. My pass is ready and I aint waiting for you to piss ball about looking for your pass, I’m getting on the bus and I’m going home.

That really pisses me off as well. Especially when I'm running a little late. Add that up at every stop and a little late soon turns into very late. It's also why I will not wait for runners. With runners you can guarantee one of the following:- They have a £20 you can't change, if female their pass / purse is at the bottom of the trunk they call a handbag, if male they start to accuse you of running early (when your late) and point excitedly at their remote controlled time piece. Besides, I like that little "I wasn't running for the bus really" thing they do when they realise they won't make it.

Suzanne Claret wrote:Dear new mums of South East London
If you cant get that buggy on and off a bus without breaking people ankles and causing half the bus to get up and move then you should finguck walk. Oh and during rush-hour when the buses are very busy the world will not end because you have been asked to collapse your buggy, it isn’t sexist or racist, its common sense. It is of no concern to the bus driver or commuters that little Dashawne has just started his chicken-in-a-box.

When will people realise that we take buggies as a courtesy, we don't actually have to carry them. Rules round these parts regarding buggies are: 2 only, if there is a wheelchair on you have to collapse your buggy. If your carrying your offspring and using the buggy as a shopping trolley you will be asked to either reverse this or collapse your buggy. If you have no child but plenty of shopping, it's not being used for purpose and you will be asked to collape it.

Oh, and Suz, no one gets on my bus with hot take-away food or drinks in cans or cartons. Hot smelly food is not allowed on, company policy. I have and will continue to ask people to leave the bus if I catch them, even if it's the last bus. And yes, Starbucks type cups of coffee fall into the carton group. If it ain't got a screw on top, you ain't bringing it on, simple.

Blakey wrote:
Oh, and Suz, no one gets on my bus with hot take-away food or drinks in cans or cartons. Hot smelly food is not allowed on, company policy. I have and will continue to ask people to leave the bus if I catch them, even if it's the last bus. And yes, Starbucks type cups of coffee fall into the carton group. If it ain't got a screw on top, you ain't bringing it on, simple.

I wish you were my bus driver xx

You should give these fuckers over here some lessons on how to be a Bus Driver as I,m sure the policy is the same regarding drinks food etc , but I must admit to taking a cold one with me on the bus when i go out for the evening in town

Buggies are more like prams nowadays too!

In my day, there was no choice but to fold up a buggy before you boarded a bus. I used to be ready, with babe in one arm, toddler holding my other hand and buggy on the floor, which had to be picked up with the hand holding toddlers hand on bus' arrival.

This followed the anxious moment when said toddler had to, unaided, get their little leg up too high to get on and then go charging up the bus, whilst I was busy paying my fare. Then panic when realising that the toddler had gone upstairs.

So now, cos some bitch had filled up the buggy holder with her finguck shopping, whilst still holding baby and buggy, I had to navigate with the toddler, by communication only, a way down without falling arse over tit, whilst the bus was in motion, and the driver played hit the bumps and potholes !

And all this, without the option of a 4 x 4 sat at home on the driveway........Young mums today aint got a bloody scooby.

I did an awful lot of walking back then

Blakey wrote:

Oh, and Suz, no one gets on my bus with hot take-away food or drinks in cans or cartons. Hot smelly food is not allowed on, company policy. I have and will continue to ask people to leave the bus if I catch them, even if it's the last bus. And yes, Starbucks type cups of coffee fall into the carton group. If it ain't got a screw on top, you ain't bringing it on, simple.

bottle of Vodka ok then dude.. it has a screw cap

Geezer wrote:Talking about Passports JK , I got mine about 3 weeks ago from DHL , they did,nt put it in the open lid bin of a post box out in the street , the plonkers just left it on the mat outside my front door , now how smart is that , 160 squids + 20 p&p for it and they just leave it on the door mat

That was my worry G. We live off a main road so our postbox is easy to spot. They've left my kids packages from England on top of the postbox before in full view of everyone. I thought, all that security to & from the British Embassy in Dusseldorf & some dickhead blows it all by leaving it for all to see & some chancer to nick!

I like your running for the bus line, Blakey. I remember waiting for a bus to school at a request stop. Some kid from another school came running towards me as the bus caught him up, puffing & panting, slowed down as he saw me at the stop expecting me to stop it. But I didn't put my arm out, the bus went past, the kid looked horrifed, burst into tears babbling about how he was going to get into trouble for being late. Fortunately he was smaller than me. Funny thing was I didn't do it on purpose - I just saw it wasn't the bus I needed & let it go.

I do like that attempt to look dignified when people realise they aren't going to make it, although it's not as funny as the people who run as fast as they can & as the bus closes its doors & pulls away decide to start bashing the side of the bus - then have to stand at the stop seething while the rest of us try not to show we are pissing ourselves.