West Ham Cockney Boys


    WHUFC vs Tottenham -- November 23, 2019

    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 2:34 am

    it's so difficult to navigate this place these days... it feels like being trapped in a building at the end of the world... you know it's going to end... but you're still alive so you keep on hoping that the inevitable might somehow be avoided...

    I could be talking about this message board... I could be talking about supporting West Ham... seems equally applicable.

    anyway... got the "pleasure" of a 4:30am kick-off in the 'morrow.

    yes... you get the horror of supporting West Ham.

    I got the horror of supporting West Ham ANS having to get up at 4:15am on a saturday


    So just what are we looking forward to?

    well... a team performing at the shiftiest of levels... this is arguably worse than Moyes AND Curbishley combined... no passion, no commitment, no tactics. no clue....

    a manager who is essentially a dead man talking because the board don't want to pay compensation to get shot of him... (although interesting to see how that might change with someone like Potttechino being available now)

    all of which interesting Spuds musing brings us to the subject of tomorrow's 'contest' (and I use that term loosely because we've not made anything much of a contest of anything of late...

    we're playing an underperforming team on a run of shitty results... cue us to give them the easy walkover victory they so desperately need.

    we're playing a team with a new manager who are looking to impress the new boss and boost the fans... cue us to do what we usually do, lay down and give them a morale boosting walkover victory...

    we're playing our 'local' rivals (not that we really have any rivals as no one else is really as crap as we currently are)

    oh... and I forgot... we even tried to play mind games with Mourinho on twitter this week by begging up our previous victories against his teams... like that's not prime karma to come bite us in the arse.....

    yeah... when you look at it from all these different angles... we're pretty much as fucked as it's possible to be fucked.




    yup... if there was anything worth getting up at the buttcrack of dawn for... this probably isn't it...

    Blakey
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    Post  Blakey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 5:46 am

    I shall be listening on the wireless whilst at work.

    It could get sweary.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:32 pm

    ugh... the things I do for love of this club... welcome to 4:30am saturday morning... play is underway... Spuds on th attack....
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:34 pm


    Well, Noble is back in the team... hardly a positive...

    who else is playing as Spuds take a free kick...

    and there you have it... ball in the back of the West Ham net... bt they call Kane offside.... so 3 minutes gone and we escape going a goal down... massacre on the cards?
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:36 pm


    ugh... Roberto is still in goal, so no bravery from Pelligrino to give Martin a chance...

    hurried back pass form Ogbonna forces Robrto to kick out of play...

    Kane has the bar unmarked in the 6 and box but is flagged offside again... they'll get it right before too long...
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:39 pm

    little bit of nice interplay from us gets a cross from the wing and we actually get to a ball in the box first... but the header is soft and straight at the keeper...

    would have been a promising move if it wasn't probably the only time we'll see it...

    Anderson loses possession in the centre circle and the long pick up pass from us to cover is flagged offside...
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:40 pm


    noble calling for the whistle because he got dispossessed... sheesh...
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:43 pm


    I wish noble would put a tenth of the effort he does into complaining into actually playing... yes.. it was a baffling decision to book Diop for falling over... but get on with it..

    free kick is flagged offside which is good because Roberto comes and flaps at it and completely misses out to the advancing Spuds player...

    Noble in goal would be a better choice than Roberto....
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:44 pm


    ugh... such sloppy interplay between us ends with anderson's pass out to Fredericks in the wing going out for a goal kick... ouch
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:46 pm


    Here's the guardian's view of the Diop booking and Roberto flapping...

    "12 min: An absurd decision by Michael Oliver, who books Diop after a battle with Kane out on the Spurs left. Kane had dragged Diop to the ground, the defender falling on the ball as he’s fouled. But Spurs get the decision, and Diop is carded for handling the ball! Plenty of boos for that egregious double insult, and no wonder. The resulting free kick’s swung in. Roberto flaps, misses an easy catch, and Sanchez heads wide right. The flag goes up for offside, but dear me, what dismal goalkeeping."
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:48 pm


    okay... finally - here's the team line-up:

    13 Roberto
    24 Fredericks
    23 Diop
    21 Ogbonna
    3 Cresswell
    41 Rice
    7 Yarmolenko
    16 Noble
    11 Snodgrass
    8 Felipe Anderson
    22 Haller

    Substitutes

    4 Balbuena
    5 Zabaleta
    15 Sanchez
    18 Fornals
    25 Martin
    27 Ajeti
    30 Antonio

    'fraud I'd drop most of them... same bunch of assholes who've let us down so badly...

    nice to see Antonio back in the mix but he's obviously not match fit (hopefully fully fit) but we'll see. We need his pace and aggression, especially in game like this.
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:50 pm


    "ankle breaker" Son falls over, so of course the Ref blows against us... the officiating form the man in black has been piss poor thus far...

    it's not like we need help in being poor...
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:52 pm


    the game is scrappy... thanks in part to us being not very good and in part to the Ref blowing for everything...

    Spuds are on 67% possession so far... always nice to see us dominating at home...
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:55 pm


    ugh... just by sitting here at 0-0, Spuds have somehow managed to leapfrog to 10th in the table but we're still sitting one place above the relegation spots...

    fupp me... if that doesn't singlehandedly demonstrate just how far removed from even the other shitty teams...
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 12:56 pm


    halfway through the first half and you just get the feeling it's a matter of when not if that Spuds will score...

    we're doing nothing, going nowhere...

    once again, we've had a nice international break to rest up, lick our wounds and figure out how to play, once again we're not showing anything to give anyone any hope that we actually know how to play football...
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:03 pm


    Son cuts a low slow cross in... Diop has plenty of time to clear but shags it out for a corner... sure, why not give Spuds as many opportunities as possible to score...


    We're so slow, so ponderous... but poor old Arthur Masuaku can't even get on the bench?

    He was listed in the Guardian's potential starting line-up last night and doesn't even figure at all... yup, that's how being West Ham are...

    I'm not sure how you can play advantage when Noble has the ball... he's absolutely no advantage to us...
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:05 pm


    someone called Lily Haris is up on the scoreboard's getting a deserved round of applause... not sure who she is... but Lily Harris was my grandma's name (the one I used to stop in for a cuppa with after or before heading down to Upton Park to watch us when we were good, or at least better)
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:06 pm


    great stumbling 'tackle' by Rice to deny Kane from two yards out but as I type that Son has scored....

    fupping hell...
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:09 pm


    see... this is how shitty refereeing ruins games...

    in the previous attack that Rice did so well in, Son went through on goal and Diop totally stood off him because having been booked for being pushed over and falling on the ball, he's obviously shit scare to go near any Spuds player and risk being sent off...

    so as much as Rce did well, the ball only went out to Spuds and Son got it again and ran back in, sidestrepped Dip who won't make a tackle - presumably for being shit scared of being sent off by a shitty Ref... and Roberto isn't going to save anything...

    plus, Son should still be suspended for breaking that bloke's ankle...


    and now Frederick has been booked for getting to Son way after the ball has gone by... so I guess we can call ourselves lucky to still have 11 players on the pitch.
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:11 pm


    The Guardian saw the goal thusly...

    "13:07
    GOAL! West Ham United 0-1 Tottenham Hotspur (Son 36)

    Diop is stripped with embarrassing ease by Alli, out on the left. He feeds Kane, who is blocked by Rice. But Spurs come straight back at West Ham. Alli slides a pass down the inside left to release Son, who shimmies and shakes to confuse Diop, then whips a shot across Roberto, who might as well not be there, and into the bottom right. On the touchline, Jose punches the air. It’s on!"

    but the telling part is the next thing they wrote...

    "38 min: Roberto offered no resistance to Son’s shot, though take nothing away from the crispness of the finish. Son is such a fine player. Spurs come at West Ham again, Alli whipping a shot inches wide of the bottom left."
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:12 pm


    Ogbonna gets punched in the face by Roberto as he flaps at yet another ball... yup, you can't make this stuff up...
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:14 pm


    and Cresswell scores... well it looked like a superb own goal... Lucas Mora is going to claim it... not even a sniff of VAR to check it...

    2 minutes to half time... game over man!
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:16 pm


    of course it was all Son again in the build up to the goal...

    if you get red carded for breaking someone's ankle... be a man and take your punishment whether you meant to do it or not...

    I wonder what odds you'd get on Pellegrini still being manager by the end of the day...

    Pellegrini out, Potttechino in?




    two minutes of insult time (well, might as well add insult to injury, eh?)


    I need that cup of tea...
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:18 pm


    "GOAL! West Ham United 0-2 Tottenham Hotspur (Lucas 43)

    This is a great goal. Alli, falling backwards on the left touchline, keeps the ball in play by hooking it towards Son from a prone position. Son tears off down the wing, his ankle seemingly fine, and curls a low cross towards the far post, where Lucas races in to slam home. West Ham are a shambles, but Spurs have been very impressive."


    "Goal! West Ham United 0, Tottenham Hotspur 2. Lucas Moura (Tottenham Hotspur) left footed shot from very close range to the bottom right corner. Assisted by Son Heung-Min."

    Spurs now sit in 6th place, we're still in 16th.

    Half time...
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 23 Nov 2019, 1:22 pm


    Spuds haven't won away in ten months... yup... TEN MONTHS... until they come to our house.

    West Ham are booed off at the interval and deservedly so...

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