West Ham Cockney Boys


    Man City vs WHUFC -- February 9th -- RE-ARRANGED feb 19th, 2020

    westhamonkey
    westhamonkey
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    Man City vs WHUFC -- February 9th --  RE-ARRANGED feb 19th, 2020 Empty Man City vs WHUFC -- February 9th -- RE-ARRANGED feb 19th, 2020

    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 08 Feb 2020, 7:40 am

    oh I just know you're all out there waiting with baited breath for this week's update... I mean... who can contain the excitement now that Kevin Nolan and some other bloke have been recruited to the coaching staff??

    I'd be happy to see a bit of Nolan's grit and guile on the pitch... but with M*yes still in charge, it's just impossible to really give a shit about any of this..

    We don't play till sunday so much of the malarky will have been sorted before we even kick a ball. Although this weird February of just a couple games a weekend...

    One such piece of malarky happens tomorrow morning (my time)

    Watford play Brighton... how the fupp do you pick a winner out of those two?
    Brighton win and we're 4 points adrift of them
    Watford win and they leapfrog us to send us to 2nd from bottom...

    Everton and Palace are too many places above us to really worry about.

    then on sunday on Bournemouth do the unthinkable over the Blades then we'll be 5 point adrift of the sort coast mob.

    so none of this makes for good reading...


    Last edited by westhamonkey on Wed 19 Feb 2020, 5:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
    westhamonkey
    westhamonkey
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    Man City vs WHUFC -- February 9th --  RE-ARRANGED feb 19th, 2020 Empty Re: Man City vs WHUFC -- February 9th -- RE-ARRANGED feb 19th, 2020

    Post  westhamonkey on Sun 09 Feb 2020, 4:32 pm


    ugh... a late start on a sunday morning feels worse than an early one on a saturday.

    I'm still confused by this 'winter break' that seems to not quite be a break at all...

    but that's by the by...

    we're in the relegation zone...

    we're about to play Manchester City..

    what the fupp... the TV channel isn't working!!!!
    westhamonkey
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sun 09 Feb 2020, 4:38 pm


    well this is a bit of a fiasco... sill can't get the telly channel to work but it seems the game has been called off out of sympathy fo our team.

    I mean... because of storm Clara or whatever the name is...
    westhamonkey
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sun 09 Feb 2020, 5:08 pm


    "Manchester City’s Premier League encounter against West Ham, which was scheduled to take place at 4.30pm GMT on Sunday, has been postponed due to Storm Ciara.

    The Met Office has issued severe weather warnings with winds expected to gust at 50-60 MPH across the country, and up to 80 MPH in coastal areas, leading to a number of sporting events being called off.


    West Ham left staring at the drop as Brady bunch spark anger in stands
    Read more
    Manchester City, currently second in the Premier League, tweeted: “Due to extreme and escalating weather conditions and in the interests of supporter and staff safety, today’s @premierleague match against West Ham has been postponed.”"


    well, we can't beat anyone else, no reason to expect us to beat the weather.
    Charlie Ham
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    Post  Charlie Ham on Sun 09 Feb 2020, 6:01 pm

    There is no truth in the rumours that West Ham offered City a 1-0 win if they get the game called off.p
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sun 09 Feb 2020, 11:04 pm

    Charlie Ham wrote:There is no truth in the rumours that West Ham offered City a 1-0 win if they get the game called off.p

    I did wonder for a moment if it was called off as a mercy against our goal difference.


    the good news is that by the time we DO play them... hopefully City will have nothing to play for...

    but the downside is... Sterling will be fit once again.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Tue 11 Feb 2020, 5:28 pm


    Wednesday, February 19th is the day for the re-arranged fixture.

    cutting into both teams' mid-winter break - although the last thing any of our bunch need is time off
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Wed 19 Feb 2020, 5:13 pm


    Yes indeed, the most contentious and difficult decision of the day... whether to start a new thread or to re-purpose this one. As you can see, working with existing real estate won out.

    Let's face it... anything less than a 3-0 drubbing (as predicted by Lawro) wold be something of a victory.

    We've had plenty of time off and we have the new injection of grief and graft from the arrival of Nolan on the coaching staff... but let's not kid ourselves.

    We still have the shittiest manager in the league and a bunch of players who'd struggle to fit into any team in the top three divisions.

    But hey... let's not all be negative monkey... I mean... let's look at the stats...

    MATCH FACTS

    Head-to-head

    Manchester City are on a seven-match winning streak in this league fixture, scoring 23 goals and conceding just three.
    West Ham have won only two of their 18 Premier League away games against City: 1-0 at Maine Road in April 2003 and 2-1 at the Etihad Stadium in September 2015.
    The Hammers' 5-0 loss at home to City on the opening day of the season remains their biggest defeat so far this season.

    West Ham United

    West Ham are winless in five league matches (D2, L3).
    The Hammers have the worst form in the division over the past eight fixtures (W1, D2, L5).
    They've lost four of their past five Premier League away games.
    Only Norwich have scored fewer than West Ham's 10 away goals in the top flight this season.
    West Ham have dropped a league-high 19 points from winning positions this season, failing to win eight of the 14 games in which they scored first this season.
    David Moyes has lost five of his six fixtures as a manager versus Pep Guardiola, only avoiding defeat in Manchester United's 1-1 home draw against Bayern Munich in the Champions League quarter-final first leg in April 2014.
    Sebastien Haller scored three goals in his first three Premier League appearances but has only managed three more in the subsequent 21.

    I mean... erm... yeah... you can almost taste the victory... that is victory I can taste isn't it?
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Wed 19 Feb 2020, 5:16 pm


    because this is a wednesday here in sunny SoCal, I might be able to give y'alls a break and not post on the game as I have meetings to attend and such.

    I'll watch the game thanks to the technology of the DVR but probably not exactly at the time it airs.

    So, I guess y'all got that to be grateful for.
    Charlie Ham
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    Man City vs WHUFC -- February 9th --  RE-ARRANGED feb 19th, 2020 Empty Re: Man City vs WHUFC -- February 9th -- RE-ARRANGED feb 19th, 2020

    Post  Charlie Ham on Wed 19 Feb 2020, 7:45 pm

    Just a matter of time before City score.
    Charlie Ham
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    Post  Charlie Ham on Wed 19 Feb 2020, 9:25 pm

    Men 2 little boys 0
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Wed 19 Feb 2020, 9:55 pm

    Well the team selection is godawful…

    I’m watching one half behind, so keeping off social media to avoid ‘spoilers’.

    5 minutes gone and City cut through our 150 man defense and go 1-on-1 with Fabianski. Fortunately through a combo of goalkeeping and hesitancy, City conspire to miss and we’re still in the game.

    As you would expect, it’s ALL City.

    I’m not really gonna dwell on the team selection other than to say M*yes is a fupping disgrace.

    Aguero has the time and space to try an outside of the foot trick shot that just curls past the outside of the post… 5 defenders did nothing to interfere with him.

    One of the problems of having so many crappy players in defense is that they actually trip over each other trying to clear the ball… as just happened on 9:45…

    11 ½ minutes… we’ve strayed into City territory a couple of times but…

    City cut through the “midfield”….

    City again get to go 1-on-1 with Fabianski but again they take pity on us and in their moment of hesitation we stumble the ball away after Fabianski deflects with his legs…

    15 minutes gone.

    Antonio has the ball on his own… struggles to find anyone form our team to play the ball to so goes for Noble and the ball goes straight to City who then overwhelm us on the counter but we put the ball out of play…

    Cos I’m off social media can’t access any of the stats or stuff… but wouldn’t be surprised if it’s 90-10 or something like that.

    Noble tries to run the ball ut of defense but then ends up running in circles and backwards and giving the ball away and City go on the attack again.

    If we play like this against Liverpool on Monday we’ll be lucky to keep it down to a double digit loss.
    I mean, there’s still a chance it could go that way today but I think City as good as they are, aren’t firing on as many cylinders as the ‘Pool are.

    Little bit of ‘bubbles’ can be heard…

    Hammers actually have Fredricks playing a ball into the box but it’s easily cleared by City… might actually be a tactic to lure us out of defense, because Christ knows we can’t attacks and defend in the same breath, or even the same game…

    Ooh, we win a corner…

    Snoddy out to Rice… Rice plays it way out of Frederick’s reach but Fred cleverly runs after it and plays it off the City defender… the corner goes nowhere.

    Half way through the half…

    It’s a weird game to even comment on really… we’re playing so defensively that it’s hard to fault anyone for anything that happens more than 25 yards out from our goal… but then if you’re gonna defend you can have 11 people behind the ball and still allow the opposition to have space and time in the box…

    But it’s all nothing we’ve not seen from us week in, week out…

    Nothing changes except the date.

    So City have us boxed into our half… even when we get the ball one of two things happen…
    There’s nowhere/no-one to play it out to because everyone is back defending…
    Or
    We put in a misplaced pass and give away possession.

    But the end result is the same every time… City get possession and the whole thing repeats.

    29 minutes and City take the lead…

    2nd corner in a row. The first one we put out via a header that looked like it might almost be an own goal.

    9 West Ham players in the box “defending” – the corner hits the first man (who is a City player) and the glancing header goes straight across the goal and inside the far post – where another City player has his toe on it to make sure it goes in.

    Yup… NINE defensive players and the only two people who touch the ball are both the opposition. Terrible goal to give away under any circumstances… shameful when you’re defensing so comprehensively.

    Half an hour gone.

    35 minutes gone… we’re playing 9 behind the ball – not including Fabianski. City get another corner out of it.

    All City possession… they get the ball into the 6 yard box and Fabianski is beaten by an outstretched toe but the ball goes out of play just wide of the goal.

    Somehow during a replay of the City goal, we cut back to Antonio racing down the wing… Snoddy is in the box but Antonio plays the ball ten, maybe q5 yards behind him and it just goes across the pitch to City defenders and City go on the attack once more.

    Masuaku is beaten down the wing (again) but the cross can’t get through the forest of defenders.

    Less than 5 minutes till the end of the half.

    No emotion… from me or the team… it’s just a pointless inevitability… no one out there gives a shit… no one involved gives a shit… it’s just 90 minutes of our lives we need to get through to get to the next…

    A West Ham free kick results in… any guesses? Yup, City coming at us.

    A break away from the Hammers… another Antonio ball goes fizzing across the City penalty area nowhere close to the two West Ham players who are up there…
    Before I can even type that, city are in our box again and contesting a corner, but we get a goal kick out of it.

    Less than a minute till the end of the half… Masuaku gets booked and gives away a free-kick right on the edge of the area…
    City do nothing with it.

    1 minute of stoppage time…

    Whistle goes. Players trudge off.

    2nd half underway…

    A ball from the halfway line goes through our line of defenders straight to a City player… the cross comes straight into the 6 yard box and we’re lucky not to be 0-2 already.

    The way they mow the grass in stadiums creates nice big clear stripes on the pitch… in the two stripes that border the penalty area, we have 9 players…
    Two lines of players… a 6 and then three in front of them.
    Every now and then, Antonio will wander into view… City will cut down one of the flanks and the whole mélange will coagulate into the box as the ball comes into the 6 yard box and we either concede or clear…

    50 minutes played.

    Aguero’s shot flies across the face of the goal… we had a corner down the City end of the pitch and so in true desperation fashion throw every man forward so when we don’t win the ball from the corner, City are free to attack us at will.

    The tactics are just pitiful.

    57 minutes gone… making a cheese sarnie in the kitchen… comes back to find Zabaleta getting stripped because someone is down on the ground and looking in trouble… it’s Fredericks with a dislocated shoulder or something similar…
    This’ll add a bunch of unwanted time onto the game…

    So of course now our threadbare squad will be even threadbearer… Fredericks can at least walk off but comms, Martin Tyler and Andy Townsend both speculate this could be the end of Freddie’s season.

    I mean… at least we have Winston Reid returning from injury and being able to slot back into defe… wait… what?
    of course… I keep forgetting… I keep thinking we’re run like a proper football club or by people who have a vague idea of how to do things… but I forget… this is West Ham.

    61 minutes gone… I was just thinking what to write… city cut through us once again… this is about the time they scored in the first half… and guess what?

    City cut through our squad of defenders and inside the near post… 0-2.

    There’s just nothing on our side… nothing… no spirit, no fight, no positioning, no tactics, nothing…
    11 showroom dummies would have better chemistry and understanding than the team we have.
    11 cats would have a better sense of positioning and formation than the team we have.

    City make a substitution… we don’t.

    Anderson and Lanzini are ‘warming up’ along the touchline…

    We lost this game before a ball was even kicked.
    We lost this game even before we got on the coach to head north.

    I just fast forwarded 15 minutes of the game because I can’t even be bothered to feign the enthusiasm to watch it…
    We didn’t concede in that 15 minutes… didn’t make any subs… we just gave away another free kick outside the area…

    City are barely trying. I don’t think you could say they’ve even got out of first gear. We’ve offered no opposition. We’ve done nothing that 11 strangers off the street standing in the way would have achieved.

    15 minutes to go… toying with the idea of just fast forwarding to the end… even that seems like too much effort to muster on behalf of this bunch.

    11 West Ham players in our own half. City just play it backwards and forwards across the halfway line…

    I would say that this is a failure on every level of a football club. As Andy Townsend just said, you can’t play like this every week… at some point you have to do something to try to win a game.
    That’s just not even on the agenda here. Not even close.

    We avoid going three down as the unmarked City player in the edge of the 6 yard box slams the ball straight into Fabianski.

    Tried to fast forward but Snoddy is coming off and Bowen replaces probably just to give the traveling faithful the chance to say they were there when he made his West Ham debut.

    Ten minutes left of this current debacle.

    Zabaleta puts in a great cross… goes nowhere. Noble shoots well over from distance.

    Apart from Bowen and Soucek… and probably Antonio and Fabianski… every one of these West Ham ‘players’ can just fupp right off right now.

    Townsend is describing our team as just ‘desperate for the final whistle to blow so they can just go home’ – yup… that’s how our team is being described… and being described accurately.

    Everyone at the club should be ashamed. Ashamed of who we are. Ashamed of what we’re doing and ashamed of their part in it.

    It would have been less of an insult to football, the fans everyone involved if we’d just not bothered to get on the coach and had just stayed at home.
    There’s nothing ‘tactical’ about this, nothing justifiable… nothing.

    I just fast forwarded through the four minutes of added time… the only thing that gave away the end of the game was seeing Zabaleta applauding the City fans for the applause they gave him for his time at their club.

    Everyone on the West Ham side can just go fupp themselves.



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