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Scottish Romance: Lonely Hearts
Grossly overweight Inverness turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08
Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03
Heavy drinker and chain smoker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting fights on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82.
Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41
Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few pints, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more Box 84/87
Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45
Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old b*st*rd living in a damp cottage in the *rse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big t*ts. Box 40/27
Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07
Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm. Box 76/15
Grossly overweight Inverness turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08
Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03
Heavy drinker and chain smoker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting fights on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82.
Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41
Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few pints, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more Box 84/87
Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions. References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45
Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old b*st*rd living in a damp cottage in the *rse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big t*ts. Box 40/27
Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07
Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm. Box 76/15
