WHUFC vs Burnley -- March 9th, 2018

all right all right all right...

here we go "must win" game number 666... (might as well pick a spooky number, not spooky in the quantum physics sense of the... oh never mind...)

Since the only thing people seem concerned about these days is calling the board "thieves and liars", I'm gonna leave y'all to your hand wringing and pant wetting frustrations and just do my thing...

Here's the weekend games, how they might affect us and who I feel needs to win to benefit us...

Man Utd vs Liverpool
Don't care... if they could both lose 10-0 I'd be happy but don't have any control over the time/space continuum to make it happen...

Everton vs Brighton
Who'd have ever thought we'd be 4 points behind both of these teams with a worse goal difference? I guess the only thing we can hope for is that one of these teams wins and wins big to give us a chance to catch the one who loses.

Huddersfield vs Swansea
It's the battle of the 30 point teams... thanks to our shitty performance last week here we are sandwiched between these two.
This is similar (but worse) to the Everton/Brighton game. I'm guessing the only result that helps us is for one team to win by a shedload... so chalk up another 0-0.

Newcastle vs Southampton
Finally... two teams that are actually low than us in the table. but only by one and two points respectively... so a win for either might do us damage if we can't pick up three points tomorrow. Let's hope we get a win and these two actually do grind out a boring 0-0.

West Brom vs Leicester
Kinda got to hope for a Leicester victory just to drive a nail into anchoring From to the bottom of the table so there's only two spots for us to avoid.

West Ham vs Burnley
come on... it's Burnley... we're at 'home'... is there really any scenario where we don't stroll home with a bag of goals and three very welcome points? Umm... absolutely there is... we're West Ham... we're currently appalling... with a hopeless manager and a woefully underperforming team... and Burnley are 10 points and 7 places above us... It doesn't make me happy to write any of that...

Chelsea vs Crystal Palace
Last week Palace almost pulled off the welcome but unthinkable against ManUre... will they do the same against a Chelsea team that is not exactly setting the world on fire these days? Lets hope not because we need more daylight between us and Palace than the meagre three points that currently exist...

Arsenal vs Watford
Watford are 6 points ahead of us in the table... it's like we're living in some weird upside down world... except we're not. Arsenal need to continue the way they played in Europe this week and brush them aside so hopefully we end the weekend only three points behind the Hornets... jesus christ... is that really the height of our dreams these days?

Bournemouth vs Spurs
fupp me... this is the West Ham of 2018... hoping results go our way and that we can somehow pull level on points with Bournemouth. I mean, is there a more damning indictment of how crap we currently are than that?

Stoke vs Man City
surely there's no way City will take their foot off the Premier League's neck and allow Stoke to grab any points off them... will they? Yes folks, that's the state of the union...

Best we can manage this week is to rise all the way up to 12th...
Worst case scenario... we could be right on the edge of the relegation zone

woo fupping hoo!

As I'm one of those hand wringing and pant wetting people calling the board thieves and liars (in fact one of the only ones as no one else seems to come on here anymore) I'd just like to explain why I feel this way. I've supported West Ham for over 50 years, I attend my first game in 1967 and was a season ticket holder for over 20 years, continuing to go to home games after I moved away from London ill health and the inability to comfortably travel long distances mean I no longer go to games. 

That does not stop me me from being passionate about one of the most important things in my sad life. I have seen the best of West Ham and the very worst, some great managers and some shite ones, I've seen us go from being a family run club to a complete nonsense under the Icelanders and now these shisters. 

The problems at West Ham stem not  fro David Moyes, not from a bunch of over paid uninterested mercenaries but from the three people who own tbe club and treat it as their private play thing. Moyes is not your choice as manager as you keep banging on about. He is doing a less than adequate job, who employed him? Who didnt get in someone better, even if it cost more, who gave him a six montb contracct, hardly makes you feel wanted in a job. Who has directed the recruitment policy at the club? Done most of the 'work'  in bringing in players themselves, despite the fact that their onlyreal talent has been selling porn. The ownership makes a point of how they have got the debt down, we now owe the money to them, they have not invested in the team in any where near the level of expenditure needed to stay at a reasonable level in the premier league. 

They have trousered the millions from the sale of our hme and not put it back into  the club, they are not meaningfully addressing the issues  at the Olympic stadium. 

Its the fault of the owners that we are in this position combined with the inability of Moyes to improve a playing squad that has some good players but far to many average and below players. This is my one avenue of venting my spleen about something I've invested a huge amount of time, cash and far to much emotion over the greater part of my life. 

Rant over

I hear you Motty and I'm not saying you are wrong. The board should take the blame for our position. Just so many areas that they have made mistakes in, stadium, squad, old manager, investing in players. If we go down it's their fault. If we stay up they will feel justified.

I'm going this afternoon with one of my sons however my youngest and his mates are not due to his birthday and they don't want our team ruining his day.

bloody hell... Newcastle score in the first minute... so I guess we know how that game is gonna go.

Hart step into goal to replace Adrian - I guess theres some kind of penalty for shipping 8 goals in two games... let's see how the rest of the team shapes up...

Collins is back in defense... Mario returns to the starting XI and Chicharito gets dropped...

Burnley have had 80% of the possession in the opening 5 minutes according to the Beeb.

well 8 minutes gone and we're a dynamic free flowing attacking force...

dominating the midfield, confident at the back...

nah... not really...

we're struggling to get out of our own half... can't pass a ball to our own team...

we're currently all standing around looking lost because Kouyate jumped for a high ba ll and clattered himself into the ground... of course he did... he's been carrying a bandage on his wrist all season, so of course he landed on it...

Moyes is sitting down...

Subs are warming up

I guess one good hting about playing Burnley is that no matter how wayward our passing, technically every ball we play will go to someone in claret and blue.

Kouyate is back on...

oooh fupp me... someone actually did something nice... a quick clever dink in midfield and a through ball to Arnie who runs in on goal but can't quite cut back past the keeper...

not much... but in the world of west ham... even a half chance is something to write home about.

oooh, Mario comes in on the far post to whack an incoming corner over the bar.

Burnley down with blood on his face - a game with no lack of claret

btw... morning gents...

hope you enjoy the game Charlie...

Sorry you're not well enough to travel these days Motty... but I'm not sure 'well; would really be a good descriptor for anyone who actually DOES go to the games these days.

sorry for going quiet... game's boring and I'm reading the clubs statement of accounts for 2016...

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we're slightly on the upper hand... but still no real penetration.

Antonio is making a few runs down the wing... Arnie is the only target up front - even from corners...

I can't even manage the energy to argue the toss about the pros and cons of hating the board...

we all hated the Cearns and the Browns... protested - had up bits of paper...

they left

we all loved the Icelanders... they went bust and nearly took the club down with them...

it's a funny old game...

first half comes to a close after 4 minutes of added time....

nothing to show for it...

zero vs zero

by the end we had the upper hand in possession (how many times has that bitten us in the arse)
and the majority of the action (41%) has been in the midfield...

'as things stand' we're down to 15th... thanks to Newcastle's resurgence...

good thing... if it stays like this at least Palace won't be able to go ahead of us.

teams out...

2nd half underway...

no changes...

So Guardiola gets fined for wearing a yellow ribbon on his jacket...

Moyes is wearing a yellow dandelion on his lapel... is he in trouble?

joe Hart does not fill me with confidence... is he really the best choice for England keeper?

oooh... that's gotta count as at least a half chance... Arnie dispossesses a player on the wing and finds himself alone in the box... but just can't escape the flailing legs of the defender...

by the time I've typed that much... the ball is in the back of our net... but fortunately flagged offside...

yup... another west ham attack ends n us conceding a goal (even though it wasn't actually a goal, you get what I mean)

when will we learn?

apparently we've had 10 attempts to Burnley's 3... maybe just the unusual sight of us going forward counts?

I know,,, I know... mowers is wearing a daffodil for St Dave's Day...

but still...

Antonio makes another strong run down the wing... gets muscled off the ball

Burnley have us pretty well in hand

neither side looks particularly good and Burnley hardly look like a 7th place team

and as I hit 'return'

Burnley score... top team Burnley... top team


long ball gets crossed into the middle to the unmarked player running in - Barnes... smashes it into the top corner...

67 minutes gone... 0-1... fortress Olympic Stadium


there's some protesters on the pitch,... bundled to the ground by Noble who seems more up for a fight with our own fans that he does with the opposition.

so we'll lose this... get fined for not controlling the crowd...

good times people... good times...

Here's how the Guardian sees it...

oh fupp... I can't even hit control 'v' and we're 0-2 down...

anyway...

Things are going badly at West Ham. A number of fans have come onto the pitch to remonstrate with the players and now the board. Mark Noble has thrown one of the invaders to the ground.


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2m ago
16:27
Goal! West Ham 0-1 Burnley (Barnes, 66)

What a goal! Lowton lofts the ball to Wood down the line, the New Zealander cuts inside and lays it to Barnes who is 20 yards out and he smashes the ball into the top corner. Can you strike a ball better than that?

that's the guardian's take...

it's GAME OVER!!!

unmarked, three yards out... just turns it into the open net


how many times have i typed the word "unmarked" this season...


now there's more supporter protests... a bit of argy bargy by the directors box...

why are they hassling the directors?

this is completely down to the players... they are useless... sure the board spends the money... but these guys have a professional responsibility...

but I guess there's no reason why the fans should be any less wide of the mark than the players are...

here's the BBC


SUBSTITUTION
West Ham 0-2 Burnley
Chicarito is on for the Hammers (replacing Joao Mario) as things get very heated in the stands. Fans protesting in the direction of the directors box and scuffles with stewards.



another "fan" is running on the pitch... he brought the corner flag with him... which is nice...


we are pretty much a laughing stock... and it's all self inflicted.

we're now down to 16th and Palace COULD overtake us with a result for them...

our only hoe at the moment is that the Ref abandons the game because it's unsafe...

I mean... you got to hand it to the "fans" - the seats are such a long way away they have to travel a fair distance for a pitch invasion these day...






not sure which emoji best sums up this pile of shit...

dare I even venture onto the Facebook West Ham group?

probably not... it's not a nice place to be even when we're not a complete embarrassment

I'll admit - the game is a bit more interesting now... even though it's a weird mixture of shame, despair and anger...

we head straight at the keeper..

80 minutes gone...