WHUFC vs Norwich -- Aug 31st, 2019

the game is underway and this place is as deserted as the West Ham trophy cabinet...

Antonio is out - who knows for how long... but I'll keep turning up until Jiggs turns the lights off.

we're looking for our first home win... Norwich are looking for their first day points of the season... both teams are shitty at defending... the pundits say it'll be a goal fest but seem to forget that we aren't good at scoring - no matter how 'sharp' our front line looks....

according to comms, Noble never practices penalties, only ever takes them in competitive matches...

if you're interested n the game... it's all Norwich, we've had hardly a sniff and not any kind of possession or attack...

who's playing:

1 Fabianski
24 Fredericks
23 Diop
21 Ogbonna
26 Masuaku
4 1Rice
7 Yarmolenko
1 6Noble
10 Lanzini
8 Felipe Anderson
2 2Haller

Substitutes
4 Balbuena
5 Zabaleta
11 Snodgrass
13 Jiménez
15 C Sánchez
18 Fornals
27 Ajeti

interesting things to discuss from the line-up...

Well despite apparently not being injured... Wilshire is not even on the subs bench. He's ben subbed twice in three games and not even a bench to warm today... dear oh dear....

slightly more worrying/annoying from my perspective is that Chicharito is not even on the bench. Why is that important? Well, despite what a lot of people say, I think he's been a decent servant to the club and don't blame him for being played in a formation that doesn't work for his skillset or being benched even when he puts in a performance.
Thing is... the transfer window might be well and truly closed... but apparently it's still open in Europe and there's talk that he's going to be shipped out of the club before the day is over...
(possibly why they made such a big thing yesterday of Lanzini signing a new contract)

But surely, if the transfer window is closed here... how can you still sell players?

Anyway... while all that frantic fingerboard action was taking place... we had our first attack of the game and got a corner... but nothing else...

14 minutes gone...

yeah... we keep Wilshire... keeps Yarmolenko... but Chicharito who actually scores and puts in a performance when called upon... gets the old spanish arch... kinda typical West Ham...

and Lanzini (who's actually decent on his day) spends most of last season injured then gets a four year (possibly six year) contract...

never sure how to make sense of the way this club is run...

speaking of Manuel... he does two decent things in a row... puts Anderons through on goal but Felipe takes too long to let off a shot and is easily dispossessed.

Mano then gets involved in the subsequent corner...

but then loses possession in the follow up play.


see... going back to the Chicharito notion... Yarmolenko is out there... happily ensconced in the West Ham ranks but providing absolutely zero on the pitch... yeah... by all means.. keep him...


and no... you're not missing any of the action... nothing is happening.

note to the tech peeps... when you post a comment it doesn't default back to the thread... you're just left with the two options:

click here to return to your message

click here to view the forum

in the good old days there'd be a moment then it'd automatically switch back to the thread...

little break in the proceedings while a Norwich player gets treated after being fouled.

we're back playing now... 23 minutes gone...

West Ham attack and Yarmolenko just runs into a Norwich player and loses possession... yup... he's that piss poor...

poor Hernandez...

but the good news is... Norwich are just a shitty... give possession back to us and Masuaku and Anderson link up down the left hand side and Masuaku plays a great ball into the area where Haller stretches out his long leg and deflects the ball into the back of the net...

you know... a ball into the 6 yard box, perfect for a goal line poacher... like ... erm... yeah... you get it...

but we spent the money on Haller... so Haller stays... Chicharito goes.

1-0 to the cockney boys.

I have to say... Yarmolenko is awful...

he can't stay on for the whole game, surely.

holy crap... Norwich head over an open goal from two yards out...

we have no defense... and it's only Norwich...

aww... Yarmo hurts himself trying to win the ball in the penalty area... any excuse to get him off...

32 minutes gone...

great ball across the area to... no one from Diop.

nice build up play between him and Noble but there's no one on the end of it.

moments before, Anderson had made a great run down the opposite side but then got easily intercepted before he can make any kind of cross...


Norwich making a substitution in defense...

36 minutes gone... probably a good couple minutes gonna be added at the end of the 45.

Here's the Guardian, and Tony Cottee's thoughts on the Haler goal...

GOAL! West Ham 1-0 Norwich (Haller 24)

He’s done it again. The Frenchman’s third goal in two games. West Ham have been poor but they take the lead, with Masuaku ghosting past his man on the left, squaring to Haller, who has an easy finish. A tap-in, really. “They’re the best ones,” cries Tony Cottee. And he would know.


the BBC saw it thusly...

24 mins
GOAL: West Ham 1-0 Norwich
Sebastian Haller
That's why they paid the big bucks for him! Who else? Two last week and now on the scoresheet today.

Sebastian Haller slides it in from close range thanks to cracking work down the left flank from Arthur Masuaku who puts in a lovely ball right to his feet.

Norwich has apparently score in their last 30 league games.... so 1 goal is not likely going to do it for us.

Yarmolenko was easily bundled off the ball... and now he's on the floor grimacing after another tackling... but up and kinda walking a bit tired looking... he's just shit. That's about the best description for him in this game.

Y'all know Noble ain't my favorite player but at least he's not put a foot wrong out there. He's in it, trying, on his feet...

Yarmo is just an appalling waste of space time and money...

which makes the potential sale of a seasoned international who manages to score even when playing in a poor to average West Ham side even more baffling and insulting....

all said as Yarmo picks himself up off the floor again...

almost called it exactly... 3 minutes of stoppage time as the 45 runs out...

and there goes the first half whistle... wouldn't call it a 'deserved' lead as the comms do... but happy we're in front and have kept the Canaries to a single shot on goal in 48 minutes.

Nice to hear a bit of Sham 69 ringing out around the London Stadium...

we've only had 4 shots... we're at 46% possession and our passing accuracy is only 80% against Norwich's 87...

so... lucky to be in it, lucky to be ahead... need to do better.

stone the offing crows... according to dear old auntie Beeb... "as things stand" we're currently 4th in the table behind Chelsea... who'd have thunk that on the opening day of the season at 5pm?

nothing to report really as I make me coffee and the 2nd half gets underway...

Anderson making runs down the wing but no end result to show for the effort..

Norwich hit the underside of the bar but the effort was flagged offside anyways...

oooh... Yrmolenko actually hold possession and manages a nice back heel to sen Fredericks in - but the cross is blocked for a corner and...

to be far... Yarmo at the far post volleys again the woodwork.

and then in the follow up... we ping the ball around and Yarmolenko volleys into the back of the net from about 7 yards out...



what the fupp do I know, right?

from the BEEB:

55 mins
GOAL: West Ham 2-0 Norwich
Andriy Yarmolenko
West Ham have doubled their lead and in some style.

Andriy Yarmolenko volleys a left-footed effort past Norwich keeper TIm Krul as Norwich fail to clear a West Ham attack.

That's his first goal since September 2018 and came just moments after he'd hit the post in the build up.


The Guardian sees it thusly...

GOAL! West Ham 2-0 Norwich (Yarmolenko 56)

I said pre-match that I was excited about West Ham’s attack, and they are proving a real hand-ful. Norwich have looked really shaky since Zimmermann went off with injury and they fail to deal with a ball into the box. The ball bounces to Yarmolenko’s lovely left foot and the Ukrainian volleys it past Tim Krul.


we might even be heading for a zero goal difference.... one hour has elapsed.

we just over stretch ourselves going forward and the passes get further and further off target until we lose possession in the Norwich penalty area...

but the gist of the game has changed.

we're definitely on top. Norwich are looking glum at going two behind

but it could all change in the blink of an eye... as Pukki comes forward but his weak shot is straight into the arms of Fabianski who has barely broken a sweat today.

7 shots... 2 on target - two goals...

Fredericks with a nice run down the wing and his deflected shot goes across the face of the goal and out for a corner...

nodded off the line and Yarmo's volley goes into row Z

"ole's" ringing out as West Ham tap it around...

Yarmolenko is finally subbed... he was pants in the first half... but it was a good goal. and he seemed to come alive once it went in.

Snoddy comes on to replace him.