Squirts owner wants to go to Court

After being excluded from next season's Champions League because of Chelsea's victory over Bayern, Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy is reportedly exploring legal avenues to try to win back the right to compete in next season's competition.

A source close to the club confirmed, "We fee very aggrieved. We qualified for the competition by finishing fourth in the Prem and as things stand, are not allowed to compete because, for the first time in the history of the game, a German team lost in a penalty shoot out."

"We are considering a legal challenge which could actually delay the start of the tournament if UEFA don't back down. Once the legal challenge has been launched, UEFA would not be at liberty to start the competition until the matter has been resolved. Given the timescales, this would probably delay the competition into Mid November or even early December, presenting serious problems and possibly forcing the scrapping of the entire competition."

"Whilst that would be unfortunate for the other clubs, we do not want the competition to go ahead without us for obvious reasons. This has serious ramifications for our club. Players such as Bale and Modric may now want to play elsewhere in order to play in the Champions League but, of course, if the competition didn't proceed, that would no longer be a reason for them leaving."

"We used this tactic successfully over the Olympic Stadium, forcing a rethink after building in delays and we intend to use the same water tight legal case here, namely that it isn't fair. It isn't fair that just because Chelsea won it, they have the right to defend it. It isn't fair that in January we were miles ahead of Arsenal but ended up finishing behind them. It isn't fair that we can't qualify for a competition called the Champions League just because we finished twenty points behind the champions. It isn't fair that our manager Harry Redknapp met his target for the season, but we still don't to get to play in the competition."

"Are we confident of winning? Listen, if a guy can open a bank account in Monaco in the name of his dog and claim to have forgotten about it, and not be done for tax evasion, anything is possible. If UEFA want the Champions League to go ahead, they will have to let us play in it. Otherwise we will bugger up the whole shebang out of spite, just as we did with West Ham's bid for the Olympic Stadium!"

A source close to the club confirmed, "We feel very aggrieved. We qualified for the competition by finishing fourth in the Prem and as things stand, are not allowed to compete because, for the first time in the history of the game, a German team lost in a penalty shoot out."


This is priceless, this might even over take lasagne-gate in knicker wetting hilarity. The Germans lost the penalty shoot out because sometimes God does answer your prayers.

There are plenty of politically incorrect jokes making reference to Jews and Germans in there.

Far be it from me to down that road though, I'll keep them in my head where they will amuse me only

You can PM them Blakey

Daniel Levy is a cnut ..... end of

Abbi Normal wrote:Daniel Levy is a cnut ..... end of

first class one thought, cant really get more cunty than him

Cunty that,s one word that slipped the sensor