Football Funnies ...

I'll try and man this thread throughout 2015, OK lads?!



First off for light relief ...


Now you know!

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Hilarious penalty shoot-out ...



Certainly worth a view.


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
Liverpool's league form since Jesus appeared at Anfield (December 21st)

Games - 12
Wins - 9
Draws - 3
Losses - 0


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Argentina are due to play Scotland, Messi walks into the dressing room and sees all his team-mates looking glum.

"What's the matter lads?"

"To be honest Lionel we're finding it hard to motivate ourselves, it's p**sing down with rain and Scotland are so c**p that we're just not feeling it"

Messi thinks for a second then says "You know what lads, I reckon I can beat Scotland by myself, you all head down to the pub and I'll meet you after."

So all the players head down the pub and Messi heads out to the pitch. 10 minutes into the game and the players check the score and see the score

Scotland - 0, Argentina - 1 (Messi, 8 minutes)

The players go mad "I can't believe he's winning!". They quickly start getting drinks in and forget about the match. Later they realise that the match must be finished so check the scores.

Scotland - 1 (McAndrews, 89 minutes), Argentina - 1 (Messi, 8 minutes)

"Unbelievable, he's got a draw all by himself!"

They all head back to the changing rooms to celebrate and see Messi looking sad with his head in his hands.

'Cheers up, you've just got a draw all by yourself! "

"I'm sorry lads I let you all down"

"Don't be silly, how?"

"I got sent off after 12 minutes"

Poor Mo ... the train leaves him behind ...


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Penalty kick technique


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Not sure that would be allowed in an actual match

Thoughts?!!

Not just Celtic ...


Liverpool's Open Top Bus is put back into storage for another year. ..

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as always, this section from my end is tongue-in-cheek - could feature any team, including Reading!

What nice boys in Suffolk, bless their cotton socks!




IPSWICH TOWN FANS ‏@IpswichTownFans ·


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There once was a man who loved Ipswich Town and tractors, I mean he absolutely LOVED them. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, every home and away shirt, even some tractor porn (which is not easy to find mind you). The only thing that even came close to his love for tractors and Ipswich Town, was the love he felt for his wife. His high school sweetheart, who didn't mind his infatuation with tractors one bit. She didn't even mind the role play where she would dress as a tractor, he would dress as a farmer, and he would take her for a "ride".
Sadly his wife was struck one day, a tractor fell right off the back of a transport truck. She didn't die until he was at her side in the hospital. Her dying words "please don't blame the tractor honey" and with that she headed to the big farm in the sky.
Sadly, he did blame the tractor, he hated them now with all his mind, body, and soul. He went home and destroyed ALL his tractor related items even changing his allegiance to Norwich, the toys, his wifes tractor suit, his beloved home and away shirts from thirty plus years of collectingand even his collection of tractor porn. He put it all in a pile and burned it in the yard.
What ever didn't burn enough to his liking was thrown into a woodchipper. He then went inside, rarely leaving his home, for 8 years. Finally on the 8th anniversary of his darling wife's death he decided it was time to get back out in the dating world, plus the cute cashier at the grocery store had been asking him out for a while now, he called her out to dinner.
The restaurant he choose ended up being quite nice, good food, good service, great decor. But there was one problem, it was EXTREMELY smoky. So smoky that his date, being an asthmatic, was having some trouble breathing. After noticing her displeasure, and trouble breathing, he started breathing in. I mean REALLY breathing in. Inhaling with such force that all the smoke quickly left the dining room, and went into his lungs. When the room was void of smoke he stepped outside and released it all into the night.
When he rejoined his date she asked "how on earth did you do that?" to which he replied, "I'm an extractor fan."

Steven Gerrard just checked in for his flight to America.

At the check in counter he produced a suitcase full of broken crockery, a bag full of socks with holes in and a Betamax video player.

"Do you really need all this," said the check in attendant.

"Yes," said Gerrard, "I'm used to carrying a load of useless baggage."

New cover of FIFA 16

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