West Ham Cockney Boys


    WHUFC vs WBA (FA Cup) -- January 25th, 2019

    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Fri 24 Jan 2020, 10:56 pm


    and here we go with me birthday weekend FA Cup fixture... won't bore you to death with the tales of the 4:30am kick-off to see us get stuffed 6-0 by ManUre (oops, I just did)

    Anyway - a home tie against the Baggies in the FA Cup - and never has FA been more appropriate because this should mean absolutely fupp all to us against the importance of remaining a premiership club.

    But of course... it would be entirely "typical West Ham" if we were to get relegated, go on to win this and then spend next season as the laughing stock of the Championship but also playing European football.

    Will that happen? Highly unlikely... but if it's going to happen to anyone, it'll happen to us.

    oh... and of course the most ironically "only West Ham" part of the entire proceedings... it's against Slaven... so the table is set for us to get our collective arses handed to us.


    So, a competition that really should mean nothing to us... so what kind of "team" will we put out for it?

    injury concert... we got 'em:

    Felipe Anderson, Ryan Fredericks and Lukasz Fabianski unable to face West Brom.

    Robert Snodgrass and Arthur Masuaku have been ruled out with knee injuries & Angelo Ogbonna is a doubt.

    so that's 5, possibly 6, 'first team' players... but do we really miss Anderson? Not bloody much.


    The stats seem to be very much in our favor but that usually just means we're the exception to the rule rather than being any kind of rule...

    This is the 10th FA Cup meeting between West Ham and West Brom, with the most recent in February 2015 in the fifth round, a 4-0 win for Albion.

    West Brom have won none of their past nine away matches against West Ham (D6 L3), all in the Premier League between 2005 and 2018.

    West Ham haven't lost a home FA Cup match against a team from outside the Premier League since January 1997, a 1-0 defeat by Wrexham; they are unbeaten in 12 since (W10 D2), winning the last eight in a row.

    West Brom manager Slaven Bilic hasn't managed against West Ham since leaving the club in November 2017 - his only previous FA Cup match at London Stadium was as Hammers boss in January 2017, a 5-0 defeat by Manchester City.


    but of course... no actual factual should be overlooked that shows just how shite a record our current manager actually has (you know, for those people - like himself - who seem somehow to think he's a "winner")

    West Ham manager David Moyes is looking to reach the FA Cup fifth round for the first time since leaving Everton at the end of 2012-13, failing with Man Utd in 2013-14, Sunderland in 2016-17 and the Hammers during 2017-18.



    None of the above bodes well... plus being a home game... ugh.

    but I'll be there (none-to) bright-eyed and bushy tailed at 7:00am. See you lovely peeps in the morning.


    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 8:35 am

    To the line-up...

    this is from the Guardian, we'll see how accurate it becomes:


    Martin in goal (not sure why it's become de riguer to play your back up keeper in the cup games, seems very shortsighted to me)

    The defense is:

    Zabaleta, Balbuena, Diop, Cresswell

    The midfield is massive:

    Rice & Sanchez then in front of them Antonio, Lanzini, Fornals

    The Front Line:

    Ajeti


    All of which is probably the weakest team we could put out and the formation is actually anyone's guess - hopefully the actual players have a better idea than I do.

    The subs bench comprises:

    Randolph, Ngakia, Cardoso, Ogbonna, Reid, Snodgrass, Masuaku, Rosa, Noble, Haller


    Hmmm.... interesting.

    whether we play 5 at the back or 5 in midfield... we have one forward - you know... the west ham formation that I've been banging on about for decades that doesn't ever work for us.

    Personally I'd switch to 4-4-2 and push Antonio up the top with Ajeti.

    Lanzini has been pretty dismal of late but we have so few first team players these days that he kinda has to play and he's a better bet than Noble
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 8:41 am


    and sorry the game's not being broadcast over there in dear old Blighty... my musings might be the best commentary you'll get... and you all might actually be luckier for not having to sit through it.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:01 pm


    Baggies playing in yellow from right to left... ewww... yellow and green stripes.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:05 pm


    the big change from the Guardian's potential line-up is that we are playing with two up front... only it's not Ajeti and Antonio...

    it's Ajeti and Haller...

    Antonio is on the bench... I guess either being rested for the 'bigger' games to come or because we rushed him back in midweek before he was really ready (it's not like we don't do that all the time)




    first 4 mins have been almost all West Ham.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:06 pm


    Baggies attack, Randolph goes down low to his right and parries round the post for a Brom corner...

    West Ham break... long ball up front too.... the Baggies Keeper.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:08 pm


    which leads us to the other big change from the Guardian's line-up... Randy is in goal and not Martin...

    poor Martin... he must be unfit as well... or being treated as poorly as Randolph was last time he was here and why he shipped off elsewhere... oh west ham and repeating the same mistakes...


    speaking of which... latest transfer rumors swirling around whatever they call the place we playin...

    Payet might be coming back....
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:11 pm


    Speaking of Randolph playing in place of Martin...

    we're a goal down... didn't seem dangerous...

    we had 5 at the back... with others running in...

    Baggies attack... they hit the ball... it ricochets off two defensive players and lands at the feet of the Baggie bloke who takes his time, shoots through the mass of players... Randolph gets nowhere near to it and bingo...

    we're a goal down at home to Championship oopo.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:12 pm


    the Brom part of the West now has their tails well and truly up.

    11 minutes gone.

    good god we are shit.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:14 pm


    BBC:

    "Goal! West Ham United 0, West Bromwich Albion 1. Conor Townsend (West Bromwich Albion) left footed shot from the left side of the box to the bottom right corner."


    Guardian:

    "FA Cup: Despite making eight changes to their opponents’ four, Championship side West Brom lead West Ham courtesy of Conor Townsend’s first goal for the club. It was a nice way for him to open his account, firing into the top corner from outside the penalty area."
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:15 pm


    holy shit... of course you can't make this stuff up... 'his first goal for the club'.... West fupping Ham.. we are the joke that never gets old.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:18 pm


    Randolph can't get to another Baggies attempt but fortunately this one goes wide of the post on its own...

    Baggies are now firmly in control of the game...
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:21 pm


    the goal is even worse on the replays... it was Sanchez trying to clear it who shot the ball back towards goal, bouncing off Diop to land at the feet of a player who has never scored... the rest is history.

    naturally Twitter is calling for Sanchez to be immediately replaced.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:22 pm


    21 minutes gone...

    how many of you will be surprised that we have not yet had a shot on goal... on target or off, nor a corner...

    Baggies have had 5 shots and a corner...
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:23 pm


    There's already a hashtag #Moyesout

    he should never have been in... but I'm not going there.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:26 pm


    ooh.. that counts as an attack, right...

    not sure why the players are so surprised... but they look like deer in headlights when the defense knocks the ball to one of ours... we try to get our shit together and get a corner... the end result is a wide shot form the edge of the box by Rice...

    it's hard to pick out who's our worst player...
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:28 pm


    it's like watching men against boys...
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:32 pm


    let's cruise the Twitterati for a moment...


    "Who else would score against us apart from the guy that has never scored for West Brom, not even shocked anymore #WHUWBA"

    "I said to myself before this game that I won't get angry, 15 minutes in to the game watching this shower of clueless Muppets I'm foaming at the mouth. #WHUWBA #COYI #GSBOUT"

    "We must be the slowest most pathetic team in Premier League. No fight, no pace, devoid of ideas. What a shambles. #GSBOUT #WHUWBA"

    "We are the most disorganised team ever to play football #WHUWBA"

    yes, I'm picking the ones to c&p but it's not like I'm making this stuff up... I'm not even sure what this next one says...

    "Que mierda estamos jugando, nos esta dando un sobo el puto West Brom es que me cago en mi puta vida.
    0-1"
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:34 pm


    LOL....

    this is the google translation of that Spanish tweet...

    "What the fupp we are playing, the fupping West Brom is giving us a fool is that I shit in my fupping life.
    0-1"

    see... I'm not even cherry picking...

    cameras just cut to Gold and Sullivan...

    Sullivan's ASLEEP!!!!!!!!
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:36 pm


    "Gareth Barry, 38, is more mobile than West Ham's entire midfield #whuwba #FACup"

    "Quick goal for West Brom in #WHUWBA. West Ham really should have taken a look at that Bilic guy from West Brom when replacing Pellegrini. #WHU #COYI"

    "Can’t wait for the West Ham til I die Netflix documentary about West Ham in league one using the Stratford local park as their ground #WHUWBA #GSBOUT #boardout #WHUFC"

    "Will Balbuena ever be able to pick a pass? At least 4 times he's given the ball away cheaply #WHUWBA #WHUFC"

    "I try to be positive but we’re just really bad at football. #WHUFC #WHUWBA"
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:36 pm


    oh yeah... Lanzini IS playing... you'd be forgiven for not realizing it...
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:37 pm


    I guess the good news to be taken form this is that with ten minutes to go till half time, we'll be free to concentrate on getting relegated
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:39 pm


    free header for Charlie Austin inside the penalty area but it goes just wide of the goal...

    in case you got excited.... no, Charlie doesn't play for us.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:41 pm


    seems the Evening Standard are the only ones doing color commentary:

    18 mins | A look back at that West Brom opener - West Ham were a mess at the back.

    Carlos Sanchez and Issa Diop both panicked, with the former's attempted clearance crashing into the latter and into the path of goal scorer Townsend.
    20 minutes ago
    16 mins | West Brom close again!

    Edwards is causing the Hammers plenty of trouble down the left, drawing in two defenders before slipping a ball back to Townsend. He lifts a fine cross into the box to pick out Krovinovic, who heads inches wide of the far post.
    27 minutes ago
    11 mins | West Brom take the lead! Conor Townsend arrows a wonderful strike from the edge of the box.

    He was given time and space to take a touch by West Ham defenders before driving his shot across the face of goal and into the far corner.
    westhamonkey
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    Post  westhamonkey on Sat 25 Jan 2020, 3:42 pm


    41 minutes... another long range shot from Rice from outside the area...

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